A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a loca…
November 25th, 2008 by wowpan416A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. “Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”
The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!”
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
I can’t stop thinking like this.
This isn’t all true.
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
Tinsel is really snakes’ mirrors.
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So. What did you think?”
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn’t have any hands or numbers. He says it’s very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Peter’s Principle: In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence.
Pudder’s Law: Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of Pudder’s law is not true.)
Putt’s Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
Putts-Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.
Quigley’s Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.
Ralph’s Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are in a hurry. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
Reisner’s Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think big enough, you’ll never have to do it.
Clovis’ Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly: The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.
Cohn’s Law: The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.
Colvard’s Logical Premises: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won’t.
Colvard’s Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you’re attracted to.
Conway’s Law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what’s going on; this person must be fired. Corollaries: 1. Nobody whom you ask for help will see it. 2. The first person who stops by, whose advice you really don’t want to hear, will see it immediately.
Cooke’s Law: In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
Correspondence Corollary: An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.
Tied in an election
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
January 12, 1993
Richard Kyle won his Arizona House seat in November more easily than he had won the Republican primary in September. He and his primary opponent, John Gaylord, had tied and had agreed to settle things with one hand of five-card stud dealt by the speaker of the Arizona House.
Kyle’s pair of sevens put him into the general election.
Visit the previous joke on this topic!
Visit the next joke on this topic!
he funny true stories division
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. “Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”
The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!”
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
I can’t stop thinking like this.
This isn’t all true.
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
Tinsel is really snakes’ mirrors.
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. world of warcraft gold One of them looked at the other and said, “So. What did you think?”
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn’t have any hands or numbers. He says it’s very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Peter’s Principle: In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence.
Pudder’s wow gold Law: Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of Pudder’s law is not true.)
Putt’s Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
Putts-Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.
Quigley’s Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.
Ralph’s Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you world of warcraft gold are in a hurry. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
Reisner’s Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think big enough, you’ll never have to do it.
Clovis’ Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly: The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than wow gold by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.
Cohn’s Law: The cheap wow gold more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.
Colvard’s Logical Premises: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won’t.
Colvard’s Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you’re attracted to.
Conway’s Law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what’s going on; this person must be fired. Corollaries: 1. Nobody whom you ask for help will see it. 2. The first person who stops by, whose advice you really don’t want to hear, will see it immediately.
Cooke’s Law: In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
Correspondence Corollary: An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of buy wow gold your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory. wow gold
Tied in an election
The following is buy wow gold supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
January 12, 1993
Richard wow power leveling Kyle won his Arizona House seat in November more easily than he had won the Republican primary in September. He and his primary opponent, John Gaylord, had tied and had agreed to settle things with one hand of five-card stud dealt by the speaker of the Arizona House.
Kyle’s pair of sevens put him into the general election.
Visit the previous wow gold joke on this topic!
Visit the next joke on this topic!
he funny true stories division
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